DVD's

So you know when you buy a dvd…yes I said BUY, pay money for…and I'm not talking about monopoly money either …. You go get a movie like V for Vendetta and you shell out like 19.97 for it… WOW I saved two cents by shopping at Target… you think you got a good deal on your movie, but they after you get home you realize they sold you only one dvd of a two dvd set for two cents cheaper… and your like AAAAAAAAhhhhhh, fuck you dot man, you bulls eye prick, … so you get your dvd that your all excited to watch and you take it home…and then you spend and hour trying to get the tape off… "ok I got the rap off, ok I cant wait to watch this…hu..humm, why wont this open up…O that's right it has this tape on the top I forgot… humm ok let see here maybe I can us my nail…O fuck that hurt…ok, ok, here it come yah.." and your pulling that tape back really slowly just like when your friend gets a sun burnt… like a really good sun burnt and you get to pick it… and your like " yah…yah ….YAH look at this one, this is like your whole back!!!" Ha ha ha….
But then it always, always tears and your like "Fucking Christ on Crutches" and then all these little pieces start sticking to your fingers and you cant get them off and now you can use your nail anymore…

So you get the sticker off….finally… then you like "Oh gunna watch my moviieee" O FUCK… another sticker and this time you don't care… your not going through that again… so now your going through the how looking for the largest knife you can find… you not even looking for the closest or sharpest… you looking for the biggest knife you have… you want to inflict pain on this sticker… "Die stick, Die… I rue the day you were made" Ah Ha ha ha…..

So you slice through the next to sticker… and literally do a hulk tear to get the box open "I told you not to make me angry, Ah aaa HH"

And what happens, the dvd always come flying out of the case an either hits you in the face or shoots itself under you entertainment center so you have to bribe the neighbor kid with his little finger to go under there and get it. "yah yah, here's your 5 bucks, for 15 second of work… yah don't worry about it… its only 4 times minium wage … it not high robbery … no seriously beat it… I like being anal rapped… don't tell you mom I said that … no no it just something that happens in prison…

Ok so now you have your dvd and you go make yourself some popcorn… you're going to get ready to enjoy this…. Maybe you like a coke with your popcorn or beer…. I myself Milk, yes yes, "helps make the body strong" so now you plop yourself done into your big chuffy chair… and your starting, starting to feel really stratified so put your feet up and rest your big buttery bowl of popcorn on your lap and then take your remote in your had and press play

And what come up… you know what come up… always first is that stupid ad for you not to steal dvd because actors and producers have family and they need to pay there bills and feed there kids and stealing is wrong… doesn't that just make you sit there and go "I WISH I HAD STOLEN THIS DVD, AHAAAAHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"