Saturday, December 29, 2007

Holy Shit... this could be the funniest video I've seen in 2007

Hey Random Army,

I know your getting a lot of postings today... but this is so funny I couldn't delay in showing it to you!!!!

Jon Stewart Standup - 1996

Hey Random Army,

Holy Shit this is so funny... its even funnier just seeing John Stewart with "real" hair

Friday, December 28, 2007

Memories come & Go, BUT "American Cars" always give you anal warts

Hey Random Army,

Well just a short update today... first I want to let all of you know I finally got a new car. Yes I know many of you are thinking... I didn't even know what kind of car Random had... or I really dont care what kind of car you drive... or better yet "What kind of car would Random Vaughn drive?" Now that is a good question.

First you have to consider the fact that the last time I got a car was in 2000. So basically 8 years ago. This is PR 9/11, but just after the fake Y2K scare. yes it was a strange time. I didn't even know exactly if I could make a living doing comedy. However with all this I found a car that I thought I could love and that would love me back. And it did... at least tell I finally gave in to the cars continually wanting to have anal sex with me without a condemn on!!! Then I found out the truth... ANAL WARTS!!!

So what kind of a car gives you Anal Warts? ... a Chrysler Pt Cruiser

Yep I bought one... and it only took me 8 long years to finally get rid of the damn thing. So Good Bye piece of shit, I no longer have to drive you, but the gifts you have given me will stay with me for a life time.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

How to become a World Famous Comedian in 3 easy steps

Hey Random Army,

So you want to be a "World Famous Comedian"... well keep reading and soon you will be one!

I have created a check list for 3 easy steps that anyone.. yes even you... can do and follow. It doesn't matter how lazy you are, it doesn't matter if you live in your mothers basement, if you follow these 3 easy steps you will be a world famous comedian!

Ok Step 1. Write amazing material!

Every comedian needs great material, but dont worry if you can't think of anything, or you have very little material. Just steal material. Many of the "World Famous Comedian" especially the ones with either TV shows or 1 hour long specials steal material!! I'm not going to name anyone.. because that would cast a negative shadow at people who still material, and the fact that it is easier for you to steal material... you will probably do it!

Step 2. Create a Myspace, Facebook, Friendster, Blog, Podcast, & Vlog

With so many ways to get your "Funny" out to the fans, who will soon love you, be sure to create multiple profiles. Especially if you want to "spam" for friends. You will need around 200 or more profiles on just Myspace. Dont worry you soon wont have to use these other profiles to get friends because these sites will "feature" your page and help you get even more fans!!

See even major corporations want to help you because famous... I know its hard to believe but its true!

Congratulations on reading this far!! You should be very proud of yourself... you are just 1 step away from becoming a World Famous Comedian...The final step!!!

Step 3. Suck Dane Cook's Dick and everyones dick that Dane Cook has ever sucked!

Now this is the most important step, if you don't do this step it could take you years and you probably still wouldn't become a famous comedian. Now some of you might say that this method is a little different then the conventional theories on how to achieve fame & stardom. But I want you to ask yourself did Paris Hilton give it a second thought when her boyfriend wanted to video tape her? NO Did Britney Spears give it a second thought when her mother wanted her to look like a 14 year old whore? NO. So don't give this a second thought, go out there and SUCK SOME DICK!!

Monday, December 24, 2007

Christmas dinner & Geoff Brousseau not a pretty pair

Well it christmas eve.. nothing is steering not even ... oh that right.. me & u drunk wife.

Well we both got so drunk we made complete asses of ourselves at christmas... I'm so glad my grandfather is pretty much deaf & blind & forgetful... because he's going to be the only one to forget tonight!!!

Well rough... so here's where I figured. I wanted to watch some comedy! & my buddy Geoff Brousseau posting something on his blog... which wasn't very good... so instead I started watching his videos on myspace... now Geoff is one of the truely funny people I know... and I've watched a lot of people!!! He is always completely original and truely struggles with his craft.. in between knocking chicks up!!

So anyways.... here is one of his vidoes... it starts off with him slamming poetry... but the ending bit is amazing!! Please watch tell the end ... if you do you will be a Geoff Brousseau fan for life!!!


Check out this video: Slam Poetry



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Merry Christmas & Something Stupid - Dave’s Place w/ Dave Attell

Hey Random Army,

Well I figured since I was getting ready to for Christmas dinner... and you say wait Random its only the 24th... and I say oh and you thought in Random's world I worked off of a real calendar .. well guess again. See in my culture... which would the be the culture of the retard Norwegian we celebrate Christmas on the 24th not the 25th!

So tonight I get the lucky opportunity eat dinner with a decent part of my family... yah!!! cant you hear the love, the excitement, ... oh well maybe I'll bring some mistletoe and hope to get luck...

Anyways to have this blog posting be completely depressing I thought you guy & gals would like this new video from Dave Attell

Its a little "low budget" but with the WGA on strike at least it not a re-run!!

Check out this video: Dave’s Place w/ Dave Attell



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Sunday, December 23, 2007

Check out this video: Secret Standup - Jim Norton

Hey Random Army,

Just watched this and figured I had to blog it... I was down Las Vegas last year and was at the Bob Saget show which also included Jim Norton. He is a hell of a guy and I know he has a book out... which I haven't read... maybe I'll get it for christmas.

Anyways, if you subscribe to my blog... then I know you will laugh at this!!

Enjoy

Check out this video: Secret Standup - Jim Norton



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Saturday, December 22, 2007

When are the question Blog posting going to stop?

Hey Random Army,

I know you are probably thinking it by now... but I'm running out of titles for these blog postings.

Anyways... heres the next question:
What prompted you to start doing stand-up? Who were some of your inspirations early on?

Answer:
This is a normal question I hear... the only better one is "Did you always want to do stand up?" and And I think George Carlin answered it best when he said "Not in the womb, but shortly after"

Actually in my case I had a rough time with humor starting out. When I was younger people really didn't understand my humor. It was extremely extremely! dry and quick. I would normally get looks like "I can't believe he just said that!" I still get those looks but I do a better job now of setting things up. I think that what all comedians have to learn one way or another is the setup.

Anyways what "prompted" me to do stand up was I was watching someone.. I can't remember who ... doing a set and an idea for a bit jumped into my head. I wrote it down in full and then told it individual as if I was doing it on stage to several of my friends. I got some crazy laughs from them so I got curious if I could do it on stage. I want do to a Open Mic, got on stage and did the bit and had people rolling... its very very addicting when you make someone laugh. So that is how I got started and how I guess you would say "prompted" to do stand up.

I have to admit everyone was an inspirations to me in the early years. I had really bad insomnia when I was younger and so I would sit up all night watching stand up. I remember Comedy Central ... this is before the Daily Show... so that give you an idea of when I'm talking about. But really late at night would just play different stand up and then repeat it. And I would sit there and watch the same guys with the same acts 3-4 in a row. I think you have to be that obsessed with humor or stand up at some point in your life it your going to try and make a living at it.

I will say I have already talked about in other posting who my favorites are, who my style is most like.. or who I think it is like... etc. so I not going to do that again and bore you.

Friday, December 21, 2007

Romney Walking with Martin Luther King

Hey Random Army,

Well after seeing what Romney said about his dad walking with Martin Luther King I couldn't help but do a video response.

Enjoy
Random

Next Question

Hey Random Army,

Next question:
favorite/least favorite cities to play?


Answer:
Oh thats a great question... because it the question where you compliment a couple cities and every city is pissed. It really doesn't matter to me where I play. I mean seriously... I do shit on Second Life... do you think I care where I perform if I'm willing to do it in a "virtual world"... god what is happening to my life... why am I answering these questions?

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Another Q&A time

Hey Random Army,

Heres another question I got.

What is your ultimate goal, career-wise? It seems like most huge comedians have to have a hook- Chris Rock and Eddie Izzard, to name two. Both have had extremely lackluster stabs at being in/making movies. Money aside, what's your ideal situation?

Answer:
Well I figured out a long time ago that goals suck... I'm really not into them. I use to set lots of goals for myself and I found that it didn't really make me happy. So in my own weird way I'm just pursuing happiness through making people laugh and making myself laugh.

In an effort to actually answer your question I would have to say the goals have changed since I got married. I was looking at doing a lot more touring. Even working the cruise boat scene. But now I'm really enjoying the writing aspect and have been working on that a lot more lately. I have several great writing partners and we have been creating some great stuff. So I if that the direction I head in... who knows.

In regards to acting. My acting sucks!! So I not trying to or will I ever try to be a Tom Cruise or put a Dane Cook. However I would love to be the guy in the back in like 300 movies... just because I would laugh at the fact when I looked at my IMDB profile. I would also love to get killed in a bunch of movie's, I would just love to have an audience see my face on a movie screen and go "Oh my God its Random!! He's going to die soon"

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Question Question Questions... but who cares what I say

Hey Random Army,

Well I've gotten a lot of question via email about different things and I figure it would just be eaiser to answer all my questions once them do individualized emails to everyone... so to everyone who emailed that I didn't respond to ... sorry but here are your answers.

I'm going to continually answer a couple questions.

Questions:
How do you write/develop your stand-up material? Do you take notes, write out whole jokes, or simply remember what you want to talk about and flesh things out on-stage?

Do you do any collaborating with other writers? How did that work?

Who's your favorite comic of all time? Currently working? Up-and-comer(s)?


Answer:
For pretty much anything I write I do it "long hand" normally by hand first and then I type it up. I can't remember all my material unless I write it down. And I find through the act of writing it down, I come up with different twist and turns to make it even funnier then what I started with.

However when I am on stage I'm going off of an idea of that a "bit" is and then free flow in the moment. If the bit gets lengthened or shortened while I'm on stage that either how much of the bit I remember at the current time because of alcohol consumption or feeling the audience.

I love doing "group" writing... I dont do any "group" writing however for my stand up material, for several reason.. the main reason is most people dont think the way I do.. so I think my fans etc would be able to tell that a piece of material didn't fit. However for Features & Series I love group writing I find that the end product is much funnier. The reason is you get a group of people together and you wait until something make everyone laugh... then you have it. and you work from there. It doesn't guarantee that the audience will laugh... but its pretty good insurance.

I dont have one favorite comedian of all time... I know that's kind of an out... but its like asking me what kind of food I would like to eat for the rest of my life and the answer is "nothing". I enjoy watching everything and mixing it up depending on my mood. However top three, Eddie Izzard, Sam Kinison and Patton Oswalt. In regards to up and coming people... there are just to many people to keep track of everyone, however I've heard of a kid name Carson Daly and I hear he's really funny. So if I were you I would keep my eye on him. I'm sure he's going to go really far.

Update on Sidewinder

Hey Random Army,

I know many of you will be very happy to see this posting... and its been to long coming, because I drove up Saturday & Sunday back up to Seattle.

Good news I got here safe, through the rain, miles and fog... we made it!!!

Bad news... my house was broken into.. most likely by my neighbors ... and they stole over $800 of Alcohol. Here is what I can just remember from the top of my head.

2 Gallon jugs of Jack Daniels
2 Fifths of Jack Daniels
1 Fifth of Single Barrel Jack Daniels
1 Fifth Captain Morgans
1 Fifth Tres Cuervo
1 Fifth another Tequila
4 Fifths of Absolute Vodka
4 Bottles of champaign - which were all wedding presents
5 Bottles of Wine

They also stole a cooler to hall it all away with. I'm glad I had stuff in my garage that made it easy on them.

They stole some other stuff that we are still figuring out exactly what they took. I will probably be calling the cops tomorrow to file a report... which just like always wont do any good.

Anyways... just wanted everyone to know I got up to Seattle safely... I'll be posting more in the next couple of days.

Oh and yah... a couple more people are interested in the Sidewinder Series my partner Ben Franz & I wrote... one is a production company and the other person is an agent... so cross your fingers!

Random

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

wikipedia??? Well maybe

Hey Random Army,

Well I finally decided to get off my ass and try posting a "bio" of myself on wikipedia... it went ok... but I need some help, I don't know how to do the who sidebar pic thing, which you see for a lot of comedian's and the "category" thing at the bottom; also sighting reference... anyways.

If you know how to do stuff on wikipedia I would sure be grateful if you could help and improve what I posted.... which I truely believe is the reason for wikipedia.

Here is what I posted just encase any of you were interested.

Random Vaughn

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

Random Vaughn (born November 19, 1982) is an American writer, voiceover artist, and professional comedian.

Contents

[hide]

[edit] Career

Vaughn first began headlining comedy clubs in 2002. He continually releases comedy material through two podcasts, Random Rants & Ravings from the Road, and Random Army Podcast. In addition, he blogs continually on his offical website and myspace page. Vaughn became the first Comedian ever to Perform Live in Second Life, following and still has the largest comedy fan group in Second Life.

[edit] Early life

Vaughn was born in Seattle, Washington. He has Norwegian, Irish and Native American ancestry. Vaughn grew up in Washington along with his one sisters, in his later years was raised as a Nazarene.

[edit] Early career

Vaughn's first on-stage appearance at a comedy club was at Giggles in Seattle,(2001), it was a Thursday Night, Open Mic and Vaughn closed the night doing 15 minutes of material. In 2003, Vaughn became professional comedian and started touring.

[edit] Stand-up comedy

Vaughn's style of stand-up comedy is often described as acerbic and sarcastic, along with is heavily influenced by Monty Python, especially in his use of a stream-of-consciousness delivery that jumps between topics as he free-associates onstage. Vaughn covers topics ranging from religion such as his experience with tithing to deeper societal issues like American excess, rampant materialism, foreign policy ofton remarking on the fact that American's don't understand that their are other countries in the world. (Vaughn is a Buddhist himself). Quite a few of his routines are about vice, especially sex and alcohol. A famous line: "Sex really is better when you don't know whats going to happen, like when your doing a nasty girl who probably has new super strain of AIDS and your thinking to your self, is that guy behind me really going to stick his dick in my ass'?"

Vaughn is currently working on his debut comedy album which should be released later this year.

Looking for a way to bring his style of comedy to a wider audience, Vaughn started podcasting. Occasionally having "unknown" guest on his Random Rant & Raving from the Road. Which is a podcast series where Vaughn says anything that come to his mind while he is driving. Many time listing "Bad Drivers" license plate numbers, which he refers to as a kind of road rage therapy.

[edit] Personal life

Vaughn was born in Seattle, Washington. He is a 2003 graduate of Western Washington University in Bellingham, Washington. During Vaughn college carear he attend 6 different colleges in all. (Southern Nazarene University (Ask to leave because not being able to adhere to the schools christian lifestyle) Shoreline Community College, Edmond Community College, Western Washington University, Whatcom Community College, and Central Washington University) Vaughn first majored was in Finance and his second Accounting.

Vaughn has described himself as a "man born under a wondering star" in that he cant fucking find it or the road is his home.

Vaughn married recently on August 17, 2007. When asked what the bride's name was he stated "Mrs. Vaughn and I appreciate to stay out of my public affairs, no back to the personal stuff"

[edit] External links

Thursday, December 13, 2007

"Something Something... The Orio Story"

Hey Random Army,

Well some of you know and some of you didn't but I've been doing a lot of writing with some great people on Features & Series.

My past two projects have been

Temps: a sitcom comedy about a Temp office that specializes in the hard to fill jobs. Circus need a new guy to be shot out of a cannon, Teachers go on strike and you need people to cross the picket line. You name it we'll find it for you... just might not turn out to be the most qualified candidates.

Sidewinder: a comedy for all you "Black Adder" or "Mr. Bean" fans - this story is loosely based on the Black Adder concept, but based in American during 1773 for the first season. We follow the Sidewinder family for 10 generations as they influence every major historical event, from the Boston Tea Party to "The Shot Heard Round the World".

And now finally...

Something Something... The Orio Story: This feature tells the story (mockumentary) of Orio a young white rapper and his fall from grace. Its "8 Mile" meets "Spinal Tap". I have posted a link to where you should be able to access a PDF file of it. If it doesn't work please let me know!

Click Here

All of these projects are registered with the WGA-W so don't worry feel free to request them if you want a good laugh or if you are a producer and are interested in producing them.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Patton Oswalt Blog Response - Godawful / Thank God

Hey Random Army,

I did a video response to Patton Oswalt's recent Blog post.

You probably want to read his post before you watch this.

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=67077201&blogID=336802633

There's the link,

Random

Sunday, December 9, 2007

Re: Britney Spears' Vagina Never Stops!

Hey Random Army,

Well I just posted this, so I figured I should add it to the blog.

Enjoy
Random

"Speechless" #52: Gilbert Gottfried

Hey Random Army,

Since I know you all love to laugh, you have to watch this video!!!

It hasn't gotten nearly enough views on youtube.

Enjoy!
Random

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Last Laugh 2007

Hey Random Army,

Watched Last Laugh 2007 on Comedy Central last night and it was great. Lewis Black did an amazing job!! Also Dave Attell is always a person favorite.

If you haven't seen it, go watch it online, I think they already have the video up on comedycentral.com

Anyways, have to get to work
Random

Thursday, December 6, 2007

If... (Questions for the Game of Life) Question 1

Hey Random Army,

So a while a go I bought a little book for a laugh, its the "If book" exact title "If... (Questions for the Game of Life)" http://www.amazon.com/If-Questions-Game-James-Saywell/dp/0679445358

So I've been meaning to answer the questions, I figured it would be interesting and at the very least give you some insight into how I think. So without further delay... Question 1!

Q: If you were to granted one wish, what would it be?

A: Well taking out more wishes, money, unlimited power, or the right to daily sodomize George Bush. It would probably be to kill George Lucas, Stephen Spielberg, Silvester Stallone, and Harrison Ford.

Now hold your horses let me explain. I want to kill George Lucas not because of the most recent crappy Star Wars movies but because he went back and re digitized the first three, American Graffiti and probably every other movie he has ever made and I personally think he need to be stopped.

Stephen Spielberg need to be killed for recently green lighting Jurassic Park IV & Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, if you have given up on life because your wife pops out kids at the same rate McDonalds poisons them then you just need to end your life and I shouldn't have to wasting my wish on you.

Silvester Stallon for making Rocky V & VI and Rambo IV, Nothing else need to be said

Harrison Ford because he is Rich and has no reason to be anally raped by Spielberg and signing on to making Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, and worse yet, because rumor has it that it was Harrison's idea to produce a fourth Indiana Jones movie.

Well there you have it, what I would do with my wish
Random

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Strike Life - Buddy

Hey Random Army,

Well it looks like I'm going to add the entire series to my blog and save you the time having to search for it on youtube...

Random

Strike Life - Problem Solving

Hey Random Army,

I just love this video, its a new "series" being posted on youtube about the writers strike, its great!!

Enjoy
Random

Re: question 1 - Whats the "Real" Question

Hey Random Army,

Wow can you believe it... actually video from me... I know your shocked, well it only took me 4 hrs to do this little clip,

Well I'll be hopefully doing more of these in the future. This video is from my past blog about the youtube republican debates, I think I'm going to do the entire series.

Well enjoy!
Random

Monday, December 3, 2007

WABC - Don Imus is Back

Hey Random Army,

I know most of you dont care about this... but a rich white guy was able to get a job!! Can you believe it... I was shocked.

What I find more funny about this is I was just using Don Imus as an explain in something I was trying to explain about America and how there is something really wrong with this country.

First off I dont understand how he got fired in the first place... lets review... He said "Nappy Headed Ho's" and the media and basketball team got crazy mad about the "Nappy Headed" not the Ho part... because ... and it does appear to be true... that the basketball time conceeded the point... they were like of course where Ho's ... wouldn't take you five minutes to find all the videos up on youporn.com of the basketball team girls at springbreak.

So he got fired for adjectives, and I ask did the girls have "Nappy hair" when they play basketball, do they sweat when they run? All I'm saying is I dont understand how the media turned the fraze "Nappy Headed" into the N-word? That doesn't make any sense!

Anyways... I didn't even know who Don Imus was before this and I wont start listen to his show because of it. The point I really wanted to make is the fact that this country is so screwed up because Don Imus could have said, those are some "Buff Dixie Bitches" and nothing would have happened, they Lesbian Moms would have been pissed but the media wouldn't have done anything... thats where I see there is something really wrong with this country.

AKA ... I dont care if you want to call it broadcasting... its speech... Freedom of Speech ... and what the fuck ever happened to it...

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Snowing??? Well thats what the voices in my head tell me.

Hey Random Army,

Well I guess thats what they tell me, and how am to argue with voices in my head, they know what I'm thinking!

Anyways, yep Snow in Seattle... doesn't look like its going to last, but I have to say being down here in Long Beach and it was Sunny & in the Hi or Low 70's today makes me say.... it fucking never feels like christmas down here.

It really doesn't matter how many christmas lights you put up... when your putting them up on palm tree.... it doesn't work... and if I see another Santa on a surf board I'm going to puke!

Anyways.. all the new is about Worlds AIDS day, which from my understanding for the event is if you dont have AIDS already you soon will... and if you sign up for a credit card while your at the event they will give it to you for free (Surprisingly they also take away your health care at the same time!) Very efficient, Very efficient!

Random

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